Interview With Rudolph

 
By Penny Shuftan
 

A few days ago, I had a chance to interview Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.  My first question was if he is the head reindeer. "On foggy nights, yes. That's when I take the lead,"  Rudolph said.  I asked if that was often. "It's fairly common for there to be some haze," he replied, "But when it starts to get thick, I guess that's about ten percent of the time. Since there's nine of us, that makes it about even."

I asked Rudolph what his goals for this year are, and he replied, "Same as always, helping Santa deliver the toys. Before that, I appear with him sometimes at malls and stores when the kids want to sit on Santa's lap. So that sometimes means handing out candy canes to the kids. And of course there's the kids who like to play 'nose boops.' Heh."

I wanted to know if Rudolph is looking forward to Christmas.  He said, "Of course, I look forward to it every year. It can be busy sometimes, but I like imagining the smiles on the kids when they open the presents."

I was just wondering about Rudolph being a special reindeer, and his response was to smile, "We're all special. We can fly, and as you see a little reindeer magic allows us to stand on back legs and walk around like Santa and the elves when we want to. I do have to admit there was a time in the past things got to my head a bit."

I was curious to see what Rudolph would like the public to know about him. "Well, I suppose mainly that I'm no longer the little guy in the old movies. I've grown up. A little bigger and older, and hopefully a little wiser," he said with a smile.

I was rather interested to know if Rudolph have any hobby.  "Well, I guess I like traveling around," replied Rudolph, "The thing about going about on Christmas, you don't stay on one place for very long at all. Though unless it's the Christmas season, I need to wear a disguise when I'm not out in the middle of the country.  It is nice being able to go about at my own pace. Seeing the elves make all those toys, I took a try at it, but the results left something to be desired. Oh well, the nieces and nephews liked them."

Since I did notice musical notes coming from Rudolph's mouth whenever he talks, I was just so curious to see if he actually sings. "A little, but not very well. The elves thought my version of 'Oh Christmas Tree' could turn one brown overnight. Heh heh,"  Rudolph said with a laugh.

According to Rudolph, his favorite activity is seeing the smiles on the kids when with Santa Claus, helpers at the "pictures with Santa" events at the stores and malls. He said that it's a big deal because it's a once in a while kind of things.

My next question would be if he really live in North Pole on Second Life. "There's several places in Second Life that call themselves North Pole. There is one that's operated by some of the reindeer and elves. Which one it is, well, not saying," said Rudolph with a smile, "I'm sure the residents will like trying to figure out which one it is."

The last question I have is what Rudolph thinks of people staying up all night trying to catch Santa Claus as he arrives at their houses to deliver presents. "It's cute," said Rudolph, "but they very seldom catch him. 'ol Santa simply goes to the next house when he sees the kids waiting for him, and comes back when they're asleep."

After that, he was gone, but before he left, he gave me a warm hug.  Thank you, Rudolph, wherever you are for letting me have an interview with you.  In a way, just by having an interview with Rudolph, he had granted me one of my wishes to continue writing even when I'm in a lot of pain.  That is greatly appreciated.  As I save this article up with a smile, I know that on Christmas eve, Santa Claus, and Rudolph will be working very hard at granting so many people's wishes so when they wake up on Christmas morning, they'll definitely have a big smile on their faces.
 
Penny Shuftan 

The preceding was a fun article meant for entertainment.
 

LiaEx Freight Shipping

By Deaflegacy

I had a chance to meet up with Lia (female.winslet) recently to talk about her business, LiaEx.  My first question was about what LiaEx is about. “LiaEx is a leading freight delivery company here in Second Life," replied Lia, "We compete with GridEx and other freight carriers and we proudly serve much of the grid.”

I asked to know who is the creator of LiaEx and Lia answered that she is the creator. I wondered how long she had been running LiaEx.  Her response was, “Oh gosh. Probably close to a year. But it's only in the last two to three months that it has really taken off.”

I asked Lia if she is planning to make it a long term thing as in longer than a year or so. “Of course!," she answered, "Assuming that the SL economy remains strong and airports, seaports and other facilities continue wanting us to build facilities there, I see no reason we could not continue indefinitely.”

Lia (female.winslet) went ahead and gave me a tour of the place.  “Here is our list of services. Eventually(tm) is our equivalent of Priority Mail, FedEx Express, etc.” replied Lia.

In the customer service area, there was a stack of packages in front of the counter. But when I looked at the spot later, they were gone. In their place was a hole going to who-knows-where.

The next stop was the employee only area. Lia told me, “Freight coming into us departing to our interline partners or being picked up goes in and out here on this belt.  Hmmmm.... no wonder nothing has been going out lately. I think I see a slight issue.   I'm sure it will get fixed though.”

Lia went on to tell me, “Well, we are hiring. And if anyone else would like us to setup shop at their airport, seaport, or truck terminal, just have them reach out to me. We are hiring for our air, land, and sea divisions as well as back office operations personnel.”

“And, on a serious out-of-character note," Lia grinned, "I'm sure you've figured this out, but LiaEx only exists as a joke to parody real world companies. If anyone wants in on the joke or would like us to setup a disaster prone facility at their freight terminal, just have them reach out to me. (smile)”

Real life unfortunately came calling, so I had to go.  I did leave with a smile on my face after what Lia said.

The locations:

LiaEx Corporate Headquarters, Paneer (104, 19, 24) – Moderate

Janie's Landing, Avignon (23, 211, 66) - General

LiaEx : Eventually (tm) it gets there
When you absolutely don't need it there tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month.

Deaflegacy

Editor's Note: Jaine's Landing where LiaEx is doubles as a stop for the "Get The Freight Out" game. Lia would later say, "Janie is very kind and hosts LiaEx for free," and would add there will be a skit about LiaEx being performed on July 12 at Club Vipera.

Montecito Bay UFO: The Military Responds

By Bixyl Shuftan

It's been about six months since Montecito Bay was hit by a strange craft that resembled a flying saucer. Although the area was under guard by the police, Federal authorities delayed in getting the "UFO" out of there until shortly after the Newser wrote about getting a closer look at the saucer and what looked like the body of it's occupant. With the craft and remains taken away, a mystery tower suddenly springing up in place of the destroyed building, and an official speaking on condition of anonymity about what was going on in late March, that seemed like the end of the story.

Aside from the supposed aliens themselves however, there was one party that hadn't spoken up yet: the military. This week, the Newser received the following letter

To Mr. Shuftan

Regarding your reporting not long ago on certain incidents in the town of Montecito Bay, your articles did not go well within certain circles. Fortunately for you, your publication has made repeated efforts to help veterans. Because of this and the "understanding" you have with the local police department, there will be no efforts at prosecution.

However, your recent reports suggesting that the community of Montecito Bay was the subject of several activities of extraterrestrial origin, notably the crash landing of a craft of stated extraterrestrial origin, have forced us to declassify certain documents concerning an experimental craft sooner than planned in order to avoid unnecessary alarm.

As your investigations revealed, we have made efforts decades ago to see if a craft in the design of the "flying saucer" seen in vintage science-fiction movies was feasible, and were disappointed by the results. Today with more advanced computer technology, the decision was made to try again with a new design similar to the old one, but with the addition of computers not dissimilar to those aboard the B-2 bomber to help keep it stable. It was also decided to have the initial flights unmanned, and a mannequin placed in the cockpit in place of a human. As crewmen will do things for amusement, the mannequin placed was deliberately made to look like a green alien from classic science-fiction movies.

We did not anticipate our X-craft loosing the signal of it's controllers as we had two back-up signalers. But somehow all three failed, and the result was the X-craft drifting into the town of Montecito Bay, and smashing into one of it's buildings. When the mannequin was removed from the craft, for some reason it was decided by local servicemen to temporarily place it in the wrecked car in front of the building. No one anticipated local police going on "lunch break" to let in reporters they were on friendly relations with.

We would appreciate patience in the future in regards to any of our recovery operations, and allow us to declassify reports and parts of them at our own pace rather than give away our secrets so that the enemies of this nation will exploit them sooner..

General M.I. Black

The Newser tried to call General Black at the return address, but there was no response.

So it seems there's now an official reason other than "swamp gas," and a plausible one. That is, if that's all that happened. This explanation says nothing about the strange symbols with a resemblance to crop circles that were appearing on the city streets or the "Groundhog Day" incident in which half a city block was demolished with the only clue being what looked like a flying saucer zooming away. And of course no explanation of the "alien tower" that now stands where the UFO crashed.

It's also interesting to note that this letter has arrived in a period of relative calm for Montecito Bay, meaning while weird things still happen, they've all been under the radar. How long this will continue, we'll see.

Bixyl Shuftan

Note: The preceding was a fun article written for the purposes of entertainment.

Mysterious Circles Appear on Montecito Bay's Streets

By Bixyl Shuftan

Just as Montecito Bay has been putting the slime and maw monsters behind them, there's a new mystery afoot. My first clue to what was happening was a group announcement by Becky Nostferatu on November 24.

I swear I just saw lights, guys. All over! And now, we're getting some weird circles on the ground... so strange. I wonder what it could mean for the sim? We better keep our eyes open!

But it wasn't until a few days later when I dropped by the sim. I talked to a few people, Moff (MoffettMephit Resident), Emorald Resident, Lem Aiko (LemonPledge Resident) just outside the Magnum Opus, the "MO" still under reconstruction with scafolding outside the building and the "Crux Construction Company" signs. Kardinal Klo (Klomonx Resident) was working on it, "Okay, I need to do the under colors, and the dome texture and move the windows out if they haven't yet." Lem, who was in his hard hat, might have been helping him but at the moment was taking a break.

As we talked, I noticed some markings on the road, like the "crop circles" seen on TV news and social media occasionally. I then brought their attention to it, "Say, what's that on the road?" Moff replied, "Oh, some degenerates playing a prank, or something. Street department hasn't had a chance to clean them off yet." Lem's answer was, "I dunno, they just appeared there. (I'm) pretty sure kids are spray painting them." Emorald answered, "We THINK some kids are just spray painting it. Not sure yet."

I looked to Emorald, "What do you mean 'we think?'" He shrugged, "That is the best guess I have honestly." "Cops couldn't prove it yet," Lem told me. "Why not just pressure wash it off?" I asked. Lem answered, "I ain't getting paid for it. It'll eventually wear off." Emorald told me, "It was done once, and was back the next morning." "Any more of these?" I asked. Emorald answered, "I have seen a few." Lem told me, "Yea, at every intersection. A lot of paint wasted, Must be a college prank." "But yeah Bix," Emorald commented, "who ever is doing this prank, A+ for effort."

Moff then had to leave for something. I then brought up Becky Nostferatu's group message, "Checking the Mont Bay bulletins, Becky says 'weird lights' showed up just before these circles." Lem told me, "As far as I know, the only cameras that caught anything was the ones at the gas station, they saw some sort of black shadow fly across the screen and then the ones facing the intersection went dead." "So that's all that was noticed before these weird shapes?" "I think the weird lights were kids playing with high power laser pointers. They will kill a camera very fast. It's all a big hoax, though a well put together hoax. Like I said, they get points for effort."

I then asked, "What are some of the (other) locals saying?" "There's a guy over on the east side who swears he saw some flying saucers," Lem answered, "I think he's on something." Emorald asked him, "Was that the same dude that got evicted from that one abandoned building Lem? I think he was living, next to the hotel?" Lem answered, "I don't know, but he snoops around my warehouse a lot too. The guy is a conspiracy theorist." Emorald added, "I know there was a guy living in that building, had to really clean the place up. Someone had a hell of a drug lab there." "Yeah, you wonder who was responsible, but innocent till proven guilty."

Not long afterwards, I bade farewell to the two, and looked around. Sure enough, there were more of these strange patterns on the asphalt in other places. Either they were done by a machine, or the painter had a very steady hand. I did notice one building with a few strange pictures. But before I could take a picture of it, a huge spider appeared, which freaked me out to the point I forgot about making the shot. Normally such enormous arachnids are found in the tropics. But considering the recent maw monsters and now these street circles, well, know knows?

And so Montecito Bay now has some more weirdness on it's hands. Or considering the Cruxes, additional weirdness. What happens next? Time will tell.

Bixyl Shuftan

Montecito Bay Versus The Slime And Maw Monsters

By Bixyl Shuftan

As Montecito Bay approaches it's first anniversary as an incorporated sim, things have been getting a little weird around town. Or if one considers that a number of it's residents are cruxes, a little weirder than usual. For the past week, there have been sightings of puddles of green slime. In one group chat, MoffettMephit (Moff) commented, "I take it y'all have heard about the emergency broadcasts? The ones that talk about the slime? All I can really add is, if ya see any of that around here, I wouldn't go touching it. Fact is, our top scientists are on this, and they think it has to do with the Gacha Guild." Asking questions only got various comments from various other local residents. Some were saying if ferals licked it, they would grow two extra heads. Others boasted they licked it with no ill effects, "tastes like jello." Other theories included the slime was the result of cruxes throwing up after having "the special" from a local diner.

A few casual glances around turned up nothing. Finally, one Saturday night I dropped by the "After Dark" event at the Magnum Opus club. There was scaffolding on the outside. I was told that this would be the last event at the "MO" as it's sometimes called before it was renovated. There was a small pile of furnishings ablaze in the corner. I was told that was furniture and things that were to old to reuse when the rennovation was done. Some of the locals were looking unusual, looking like three-headed cerebus dogs or sporting two heads, possibly a result of the slimes.

Asking about the slimes, I was old there was some on the beach and the Studio 86 club. "They were here, Moff used a vacuum," Twocoin told me, "He said 'Not in this club!' And then out came the bleach." Moff, who was DJing, responded, "Authorities have begun to suspect the origin being from another sim. Just don't touch that stuff." Kardinal Klo asked, "Do you think they have any idea what they're dealing with?" Moff responded, "We have put our top scientists on it." Emorald commented, "I have tried to get a close look at the slime. But, every time I try and get close, the scientists shoo me away." Magpie Hyena spoke, "One of the staff managed to uh... contain one of the beasties ... somehow. in a tiny bag."

Since the boardwalk and beach were just across the road from the Magnum Opus, I took a quick look over. Before long, I saw some slime. But on top of the goop was what looked like the lounge chair from Hell. It looked like an open set of jaws that had somehow been removed from it's owner, with a huge set of fangs. It looked like it was waiting for someone unwary enough to sit down, and then gulp them down.

I went back to report this to the people at the club. Hearing my description, Moff swore, "Oh s**t! Those are back too?! ... Those teeth things. After the show, we'll have to get the city flamethrowers." "What are those things?" I asked. Moff answered, "I have no idea." Magpie spoke, "They're certainly odd. I hear some local pets have been missing, and I bet they're to blame."

Moff went on, "One of them had a CRUX tongue! I mean, can we blame cruxes for this?" Emorald asked, "It EAT a crux ???" Moff answered, "I don't think so. It's too organized." Kardinal Klo remarked, "They show signs of intelligence, sentience, even." Magpie joked, "Seatience, that's a good way to put it, Klo." "Sentience!" Moff corrected. "No no! Seatience!" Moff then realized the joke and chuckled, "Oh! Ha ha!"

Twocoin asked, "Wait... Are we still talking about the pets or the crux?" Moff went, "If it were cruxes, there'd just be a big pile of slime covered teeth things." Emorald spoke, "They are like raptors" Magpie remarked, "Better hope those beasties don't go over your head like that joke." Twocoin responded, "It would NOT go over my head. My reflexes are too good. I would catch it." Moff then tossed a record his way. Twocoin joked, "Moff's breaking records in all categories.."

Magpie then looked around, "Anyone feel like they're being watched?" Moff answered, "What?! NO! I mean, I wasn't until just now." Klo went, "Yes, but, I mean, I have two heads." Twocoin remarked, "It's like there's some human with a camera pointed at the back of my head. Also, Klo's friend is staring at me," he pointed to a Halloween skeleton in a cage. Twocoin pointed out, "... there are dogs all around her."

A comment by Lem got Moff to joke, "Where's those teeth things when you need one? Sacrifice Lem to the slime." Magpie cautioned, "Hey Moff, I wouldn't wish for those teeth things, even as a joke you know. Don't wanna jinx this party." Moff didn't heed the warning, "I do! Let one bite that Lem butt!" "Gosh, be careful what you wish for!" Lem remarked, "My butt might swell up, nobody wants to see that. I got bit by a zombie one time, and the zombie died.]"

Then Twocoin saw the party had a new arrival, "Oh! There is a tooth thing right there!" Magpie blurted, "WHAT?!" Klo wondered, "Is it attracted to music?" Emorald wondered, "How did that get here?" Twocoin then noticed, "And another right there." "We attracted them!" Magpie remarked, "with the loud kickass tunes!" Moff then noticed one had a long, striped tounge, "Oh sh**, it's the crux tongue!" Twocoin went, "Mateo is AFK quick sacrifice him!" Moff shouted, "GO POKE IT LEM!" Lem then changed into his Halloween avatar, "I need to be my ghoul." Magpie then warned me one had appeared near me, "U-uh... B-b-bix...?!" I quickly got out of the way.

Then Moff remembered their fire, "Wait! We have flaming furniture!" Magpie blurted, "Someone set it on fire!" Moff then grabbed some of the furniture in the fire pile by an unlit end and tossed it onto one of the maws. But it was soon clear it wasn't having any effect, Klo observing, "It does not appear fire helps."

With the creatures not making any more aggressive moves, Magpie was rethinking the idea of getting rid of them, "I'm not so sure. I know some of our authorities  have noticed that when its domesticated it doesn't seem to uhhh...drool as much." She then grinned, "Though I'm sure you could make it drool with the right treats?" Emorald asked, "But, how do you domesticate them?" Magpie answered,  "Someone told me that a whole damn mess of  sciencey types down at the SCP facilities have managed to tame these guys." Moff asked, "Tame them? For what?" Magpie went on, "They've boxed them all up and put 'em in a little machine, like some sorta snack vendor. Somethin' called a gacha." Apparently the folks down at the SCP foundation in Dewdrop have managed to breed these guys to just sorta...cuddle. They'll let you sit all over em and won't be bothered. I imagine they're still fixing some kinks, so, I'd be cautious."

Emorald commented, "They do look....kinda cuddly." Klo followed, "Hmm, one of you should try and sit on one." Moff suggested, "Again, Lem, go ahead!" Lem asked, "Go ahead what?" Moff told her, "Go touch the teeth thing!" Magpie was unsure, "I don't know, who here's a brave enough soul to give that little beastie a pat?" Klo commented, "'soul' you mean 'sacrifice'." Lem then began approaching one. Magpie reacted, "Be careful Lem." But whem Lem touched one, the result was, nothing. Magpie responded, "Hmm. Well they seem a lot more docile than we were anticipating." Emorald observed, "They haven't eaten him yet." Magpie suggested, "There's no blood and gore yet. Maybe it's scared of you Lem." Lem joked, "I'm not zesty enough."

Thinking it over, Magpie made a decision, "Well, I guess I've lived  a good life. I'll try to mess with that curious little purple and green one." Emorald wasn't so sure, "Wait Mags! Let me go first." Magpie asked, " A-are you sure?" Emorald answered, "I am small enough, I can get away fast." "Er... okay Em." Emorald then sat on the maw, and the reaction was, nothing. Magpie asked, "Is that slimy?" Emorald answered, "A little, but like, the tongue is soft, like, velvet." Magpie was amazed at the sight, "That thing is literally just letting you chill on its, tongue?!" "Yeesh." "I mean you ARE a mousey looking thing. I'm shocked it's not, just chomped! Well, maybe it isn't the thing that's been, making the local pets disappear, maybe."

Then Moff reappeared, with a weapon. Mateo Firecaster commented, "Oh s**t! A Crux with a gun!" Twocoin remarked, "That's not a gun, that's a rocket launcher!" Emorald, still on the creature, looked to the armed crux, "Why do you have a gun Moff?" Moff responded, "Gee, guess!"  Magpie tried to get him to back off, "Moff wait! It, I don't know! It doesn't look like it's hurtin' nobody! And it was immune to fire! I don't even know if a rocket will kill it!" Moff was unpersuaded, "Now move!" "Wait!" Emorald told him, "we sure we wanna do that? I mean, what if killing one pisses them ALL off?" Moff was unmoved, "Last warning." Twocoin wondered, "What if it makes babies?" That was enough for Moff, who then fired, "Welp! Sorry Em!" Magpie blurted, "Oh Jesus Moff!" Lem commented, "Hard hat for safety." Moff then grinned, "Potato launcher!" Emorald, still moving around, laughed. Magpie observed, "I don't think they liked that." Moff responded, "They don't like potatoes?! Then they are evil." Magpie then noticed one more, "There's another one that seemed to dig from the ground below you when you did that!" I commented, "It looks like they did like that and some showed up for more."

Magpie commented, "These things are tough, but, they're just kinda, chilling out." Moff had another idea, "Torch the building." Klo asked, "Is this akin to setting the house on fire when you find a spider? ... Set the MO on fire, the aliens are here?" Lem then called out, "Em!" Emorald asked, "What?" Lem sat on another of the maw creatures, "Come sit." Moff joked, "Lem and Em make out on one, maybe that'll kill it." Magpie was surprised, "That one's just... letting you two cuddle together with it?!"

Moff noted the music band that was playing at the time, "Clearly these two like The Scorpions." Klo responded, "Who doesn't like The Scorpions?" The white crux DJ then had an idea, "HEY HEY HEY! Could these be like the aliens in Mars Attacks? If we yodel....." Klo liked the idea, "Oh s**t, play some, uh, Indian Love Call? Is that it?" Twocoin joked, "Play some Jane's Addiction. Nothing survives that." Klo asked, "Do these things even have ears, or do they just feel vibration?" Another new one was seen in the room, Emorald saying, "What is that one over there? ... Looks like it was, sewn together." Moff finally had his musical weapon loaded, "Oh Em Gee! Are you all ready?!" He then started playing Slim Whitman's "Indian Love Call." Magpie asked, "Moff are you gonna soothe these beasties with some great tunes?" then realizing what was being played, "Oh boy, YOU ARE!" "Here we go!" Klo remarked at the music, "If this doesn't kill them, we're screwed!" Moff responded, "If they start dancing, I'm leaving."

Then Magpie noticed, "One of them is gone. Moff, I think it's working." Klo blurted, "Oh s**t. Does 'Mars Attacks' again tell us the truth?" "This song is saving us!" Magpie exclaimed. "This song only has ninety seconds," Moff reminded, "So I hope the next one works!" But at the end of the song, there was not a maw in sight. "Are they all gone?" Magpie asked. "Seems they are," Emorald answered. "Welp, guess 'Mars Attacks' taught us a thing or two!" With "Piece of My Heart" playing, Magpie suggested, "If this song really is sending them scurrying back to their nests, they are missing out on some great taste."

Moff then loaded in the next tune, "The next song, is one you all can sing afterwards! Cuz it is true! Y'all ready!" Then came the song, "Last Night a DJ Saved My Life." Klo started laughing, "Moff taking all the credit for that is he." "IT TRUE THO!" Moff boasted. Klo remarked, "Nevermind he's who probably brought them here."

"I'll play a couple more after this, but then I'm running away," Moff told everyone, then started singing

There's not a problem that I can't fix
'Cause I can do it in the mix
And if your man gives you trouble
Just you move out on the double
And you don't let it trouble your brain
'Cause away goes trouble down the drain

Magpie then had a thought, "That's it! I bet they use the sewers to get to and from the sims! ... You sent those troubles down the drain, Moff. (grin) ... you never know what those sneaky SCP  foundation scientists are workin' on. Maybe someone installed some sorta tunnel to and fro." Moff responded, "Those sons of bit ... We need to go get them! Where are they at?" Magpie answered, "Well I think they're opening up their facilities to the public soon. But I know you can hang out in the lobby in Dew Drop. They're having some sorta, 'Gacha Guild' sale. But, there's been word that a lot of little beasties from different corners of the SL  world are inhabiting the place. Maybe that's why they're opening up their labs soon. Maybe they want help from patrons and consumers. Maybe we need to help them track down all the escaped monsters! I'm trying to find an old clipboard I found  at the place. I think it said..that they'll be opening the doors to the labs on the, 12th? But anyone is welcome to the gacha guild event they're having above the labs now. Just, be careful. You never know what sorta things are lurking in the dark corners."

And so ended the night of the slime and maw monsters. But this is unlikely to be the last Montecito Bay sees of them. And even if it is, no doubt some other form of zaniness will emerge to take it's place.

As for the Gacha Guild, it is at -
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Dew%20Drop/120/250/1739

Bixyl Shuftan

Note: The preceding was a "fun article" based on some interactive RP at the time